Peak Confidence at Nine?:Unpacking the Shocking Reality for Women in the Workplace
“It's not just a 'me' problem; it's a universal experience that women are having day in and day out.”
“LEARNING THAT A TYPICAL WOMAN REACHES PEAK CONFIDENCE AT AGE NINE WAS LIKE A GUT PUNCH.”
On this episode of "Flourish or Fold," I am thrilled to welcome writer, social entrepreneur, consultant, beacon of leadership and testament to the power of women in the workforce, Colleen Bordeaux. As a management consultant at Deloitte and the founder of Growth Inc, a media and leadership development company dedicated to women, Colleen embodies the multifaceted nature of today's female leaders. Our conversation delved into the heart of women's experiences in the corporate world, examining the challenges we face and the triumphs we can achieve. We explored the startling reality that women often reach their peak confidence at the tender age of nine and that within two years of starting their careers, many lose their ambition to ascend to leadership roles. We also touch on female friendships, workplace dynamics, and redefining success. The episode emphasizes the need for self-love, resilience, and defining one's own path to leadership and fulfillment.
The Societal Conditioning Conundrum: Why does this happen? Colleen and I discussed the pervasive impact of societal conditioning on women's confidence. We're taught to seek external validation, to measure our worth by others' yardsticks. This quest for approval can erode our self-worth and diminish our innate power. The "power dead even rule" is one such cultural norm that can stifle a woman's assertiveness. It's the unspoken expectation that we must not outshine our peers, that we should maintain an equilibrium that often comes at the cost of our own growth.
The Path to Self-Directed Leadership: Colleen's journey is a powerful narrative of navigating dual career paths, balancing her creative passions with the rigors of a corporate environment. She shared the pressures of conforming to a narrow definition of success and the importance of reconciling one's values with one’s professional life. The key, as Colleen emphasized, is to clarify your values and develop a robust sense of self-trust. It's about identifying whose opinions truly matter and align with your values, empowering you to carve out a career path that resonates with your authentic self.
The Significance of Supportive Relationships: We also touched on the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive individuals who foster personal growth. Colleen highlighted the dynamic nature of relationships, acknowledging the critical role her partner played in her journey while also recognizing the need to set boundaries with others, like parents, whose values may not align with her own. She urged listeners to be discerning about the people they allow to influence their thinking and to part ways with those who don't contribute positively to their journey, doing so with love and self-respect.
Understanding the Dynamics of Female Friendships: Our conversation took a personal turn as I shared my experiences of feeling excluded from social circles. Colleen provided valuable insights into the dynamics of female relationships, reminding us that the behavior of others often reflects their insecurities and struggles with self-love. Building self-love and resilience is crucial, as the actions of others are not a measure of our worth.
Redefining Likability and Success in the Workplace: In the workplace, women often grapple with the need for likability versus respect. Colleen offered practical advice on shifting the focus from being liked to being respected, building influential relationships, and concentrating on the impact and value we bring to our professional roles. She also encouraged listeners to define success on their own terms, to become "expanders" who embrace growth and step into their potential.
Join the Growth Inc Community: As we wrapped up the episode, I couldn't help but express my admiration for Colleen's work. I invite you all to connect with Growth Inc through their Instagram platform, where you can engage with a community that shares your values and find messages that resonate with your journey.
Thank you to Colleen for sharing her personal journey and the importance of self-trust, values, and surrounding oneself with supportive individuals. Our conversation underscored the magnitude of self-trust, resilience, and influential relationships for women in the workforce. It's a call to action for all of us to embrace our worth and agency, to lead from a place of our own values and intuition.
Connect with Colleen Bordeaux: Colleen invites you to connect with her through her website and on social media. To learn more about her work visit:
https://www.colleenbordeaux.com/
https://www.instagram.com/colleenbordeaux
https://www.linkedin.com/in/colleen-bordeaux/
Give this episode a listen below. ⇣
On the episode, we talk about:
Introduction of Colleen Bordeaux (00:01:42): Introduction of Colleen Bordeaux, her professional background, and the founding of Growth Inc, a woman's media and leadership development company.
Colleen's Career Trajectories (00:03:41): Colleen's experience balancing a corporate career with her own company, Growth Inc, and the challenges she faced in integrating her creative pursuits with her corporate path.
Impact of Sabbatical and Self-Reflection (00:08:04): The transformative impact of a sabbatical on Colleen's understanding of her personal experiences and the broader challenges faced by women in the workforce.
Societal Conditioning and Confidence in Women (00:16:42): Exploration of societal conditioning, the confidence deficit in women, and the impact of external validation on women's self-worth and career trajectories.
Self-Trust and Values (00:26:16): The importance of clarifying personal values, building self-trust, and leading from a place of individual values and intuition.
Building a Supportive Circle (00:27:19): Colleen discusses the importance of having supportive individuals and the need to evaluate the influence of different people in one's life.
Weeding Out Negative Influences (00:28:14): Colleen emphasizes the significance of paying attention to how individuals make you feel after interactions and making choices to release negative influences with love.
Navigating Friendships and Acquaintances (00:29:24): The speakers share personal experiences and insights on managing friendships and acquaintances, including the challenges and decisions involved.
Understanding Female Relationships (00:32:29): Dr. Taryn Marie reflects on her experiences with female relationships, seeking to understand the dynamics and reasons behind changes in friendships.
Impact of Self-Love on Relationships (00:34:50): Colleen discusses the importance of self-love and its impact on relationships, emphasizing the need to release negative influences with love.
Navigating Likability in the Workplace (00:37:10): The conversation delves into the challenges of likability and relationships in the workplace, exploring the impact on career advancement and opportunities.
Reframing the Need for Likability (00:42:33): Colleen shares strategies for reframing the need for likability as the need for respect and discusses the importance of building influential relationships in a professional setting.
Defining Success and Expanding Potential (00:50:27): Colleen emphasizes the importance of defining success based on personal values and being an expander of one's own potential, encouraging forward growth.
Connecting with Growth Inc Community (00:51:58): Colleen invites listeners to connect with the Growth Inc community on Instagram and engage with the platform's content and supportive community.
Peak Confidence in Women (00:52:37): Discussion on the unique approach of Colleen in addressing gender equality and inequity with humor and conviction.
Selective Feedback (00:53:46): Dr. Taryn shares her approach to filtering feedback based on the relationship and credibility of the source.
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